A lot of us get messed up and disappointed because we think we DESERVE more. Motivational speakers and positive psychologists tell us this all the time. They tell us not to settle because we deserve more. Because we’ve worked hard enough so we deserve more, because we had a hard life so we deserve more, because we have always ended up with less so we deserve more, blah blah blah! It’s all complete nonsense…you know why?
It’s because when you believe we deserve more it’s inevitable that you will face a situation that you feel you DON’T deserve. It’s going to be too much money, too expensive of a purchase, too high class, too this and too that for you. You’ll think I haven’t worked hard enough for this, I haven’t had the right kind of life to be in this board room or on this platform. When you judge what is in your life or not in your life by whether you deserve it or not–you’re basically saying before it comes into my life I had to somehow earn it. Earning in life is never the way to get to our happy place because you never stop earning, but you are always WORTH MORE.
Worth is value. You are worth what someone is willing to pay for something–what they’re willing to give in exchange for that thing. Business men and women understand this very well, they know that you do not bring time to the marketplace you bring value. People pay for value not because you worked really hard on that product, project, or business. They pay you what it’s worth. Those of us who love to shop also know “you get what you pay for”. You buy cheap you get cheap. You buy expensive you get high value…and you my friend are HIGH VALUE.
You are going to get all of your heart’s desires met by God because YOU ARE WORTH MORE…not because you deserve more. If you worked 1000 hours a week and was the nicest person on the planet you could not earn the AMAZING things God has planned for you. Honey, you are PRICELESS. You are worth more than rubies…remember that.
So the next time you pray don’t whine to God about what you deserve ask Him to bring into your life the things/people that are WORTHY of what He paid for you.
Hey there reader!
Doesn’t it appear that everyone has haters these days–which means there must be somebody out there who considers us their “hater”—just a thought…now unto the blog.
A lot of us think that a hater is someone who is crass and in your face telling you, “You can’t do that!”, “No one will buy that from you!”, or “You are going to fail!” That is not the type of haters most of us deal with on a daily basis. The haters we deal with are much more subtle than that.
Subtle hate looks like someone suggesting that MAYBE you should try something else. Or say MAYBE you should look at the other people who attempted what you attempted the same thing failed. Or the Christian version where they’ll say, “I don’t really sense that’s what God has called you to.” Oh thanks…I didn’t know the conversation I had with God was a three way conversation with you, me and Him. It wasn’t, but thanks. (This is not to say that you can’t have people who counsel you that you’ve trusted with guidance for your life.)
Another type of hater is the people who have tried to do what we are attempting and THEY have FAILED so they are jaded, bitter and mad at the world. So it would make no sense for you to sit under that type of counsel, because they’re against anyone thinking they can succeed where they’ve failed. For example, if you’re single and wanting to be married you are NOT going to sit and talk to someone who’s been divorced and now thinks marriage is from the pit of hell. You’re just not.
#1: Stop listening to people who think that you should be doing everything else other than what God has called YOU too. Those people who think you should play it safe and stop being so radical or intense. That’s their issue not yours!
2: Get advice from successful people in the area you’re seeking counsel on. Do not sit in the counsel of bitter people who have considered failure their new identity.
Stay positive beautiful–you will make it.
Join me on Periscope for the full Purpose Detox daily scope. We’re on Day 24!
Hello! You are beautiful and awesome!
You are loved!!
Okay, how do you define your own success? First of all, you stop looking around you to find it. We get caught up in all the “visible” talent out there: musicians, actors, celebrities, etc. You never see a famous librarian lol. So what we do is look at those very visible people and let THEIR lives define success for us.
Or we watch movies about what it looks like when someone makes it BIG–the cars, the women, the money, the party, the house and so on. Some of those things may be success to you but make sure YOU decided that. Make sure society didn’t define it for you, or your mother, or your friends, or the religious spirit, or whatever…make sure YOU and GOD sat down and defined what your success is.
Let me help you get started: the dictionary definition of success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. This means success is UNIQUE to all of us because we all have unique purposes and callings. So what may be success to you is not success to someone else–because we’re not reaching for the same goal. Isn’t God good to have set it up that way. You have your OWN lane and your OWN finish line.
So make sure you stay out of everyone else’s lane. Take the time to get clarity on what your success looks like, what does your finish line look like. Also, know that it is multifaceted. When you write down what success looks like to you it won’t be just one sentence. For example, success for me looks like living a fully integrated life, living in a warm climate and setting my own schedule.
Your turn. What does success look like for you?
Hello beautiful person reading this post right now…I want you to know that YOU are WORTHY of love! Go ahead and read that one more time.
We have been talking about letting go of toxic relationships go and we can start to feeling like something is chronically wrong with us because we always seem to be in a toxic relationship. That is not true. There is not something chronically wrong with you.
These are some of the things that plague your mind when you are in a failing relationship:
- Something is chronically wrong with me as a person that’s why I can’t have a healthy relationship.
- I am unworthy of real love.
- I am ugly.
- I am ….fill in the blank.
Here’s the one truth to delete all of those that you must say out loud whenever those lies come into your mind–I AM WORTHY OF LOVE. When you say that it will short circuit those lies and fill in that place of loss on the inside of you. Trust me IT WORKS!
Go be loved, beloved. God’s got you in this.
P.S. Make sure you join us on Periscope for the 40 Day Purpose Detox!
So we did three parts of this topic on Periscope make sure you go watch the replays @ycoach!
Okay so how do you know you’re in a toxic relationship?
- They drain the mess out of you
- You have to work hard just to stay in communication with them
- You start behaving in old destructive patterns
How do you let it go?
- Forgive yourself and them–it’s not one person’s fault it’s both of you–you’re both toxic for each other
- Allow yourself to miss them but miss them in a healthy way by thinking about all the good times you shared, the lessons you learned and being thankful for having learned those lessons
- Get excited about new beginnings and new relationships!
Just because you let them go doesn’t mean you have to stop loving them. You can love someone and not have them in your life. Wish them well but still chuck up the deuces!
The blocking ministry: sometimes you will need to block someone on social media and your phone because YOU need to remove that access from your life. Never block someone because you think they’re unworthy of you. block them because you need boundaries set up. They probably won’t notice anyway if they’re not responding to you so don’t feel bad.
That’s it. I hope you allow yourself the permission to feel bad and sad but don’t get stuck there. Get happy for the people that God’s bringing in your life that’s going to be glad to be in your life and celebrate you. Enough with all that drama–it shouldn’t be that hard boo! God’s got better on the way I promise! 🙂
Love you smooches!!
Hello! Stop running and hiding from trials–stop running for COVER run for FAVOR.
Psalm 5:12 Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield. NIV
When we begin to pursue our purpose and passions there will be things that will go wrong–and it will seem like it’s all going wrong at the SAME TIME. But that’s just an attempt of satan to make you run to go and hide. He wants you to think that everything was “easier” when you weren’t pursuing your purpose and then decide to stop and give up. That is such a lie.
First of all, things were not easier when you weren’t pursuing your purpose…you were actually DYING a slow death. You were unhappy, bored, frustrated, unhealthy and unprofitable. And you remember all of that. SN: If you’re still not pursuing your purpose you may be experiencing those things so the easy fix is just to get on it–find your purpose and pursue!
So God’s answer to your fear right now, His answer to you wanting to give up is RUN FOR FAVOR. Run to Him and know that His favor is covering you. His favor IS your cover. It’s your protection. He will never let you go after the thing He made you for all by yourself. There are fighter angels assigned to your dreams and purpose in life. You’re not out here all alone. Papa’s got you, I promise!
His love for you is stupid ridiculous–and that love is fighting for you. He is so pleased with that His pleasure actually puts up an impenetrable wall around you. Ain’t that good! Yes sah it is!!! 🙂
Hello Lovely People!
Today we’re talking about your standards and I’m just going to say it up front–THEY’RE TOO LOW! Your standards need a happy meal lol…no but for real you need to get your standards higher.
Standards are one of those words and concepts that we all talk about but I don’t believe we actually know what we’re talking about. I looked up standards online and the definitions did not do a good job of defining what we mean when we say that word.
So here’s the definition – the level of the expectation you have placed on life! God is saying your expectations are too low. He’s telling us we need an upgrade in our expectations. If He’s telling us we need an upgrade that means He’s ready to blow your mind!
Do an assessment of the level of expectation you have from your finances, relationships, health etc. You’re getting from life what you’ve been asking–which is very little. If you want BIG ask BIG. God is big enough to handle anything you can think up–I promise.
So go ahead and give your expectations an upgrade!
P.S. Check out the video on Periscope @ycoach, this is day 14 of our Purpose Detox
Be still. That’s how you seize your moment. Don’t you love me for telling you the answer right up front? lol
But for real I learned this lesson 3 years ago when I was in a relationship that was not for me. I ended up entertaining that relationship for way longer than I should have because I was caught up in that person and never took the time to stop and see what was really going on. And we do this when we are pursuing our purposes we get caught up in the process and never just stop to do inventory of our thoughts, behaviors and relationships.
I read a quote a while ago in the book Alchemy, I think, and they said something along the lines of a life that’s not thought about is not worth living. Basically, that you are not stopping to think about your life and do inventory there’s no point in living a life like that. You are on a road going somewhere that you don’t even know because you’re just caught up in the process of going. I hope that makes sense.
So how do you fix it? You be still. You stop and think. You take some time to yourself and just do some thinking. Meditation, reflection–whatever you call it. Just do it. I’m talking to myself too. Because once I set my mind on something I can be like a dog with a bone–I will pursue until I get what I want–but I never stop to take inventory of my steps or even ask my desires have changed.
So stop today and consider your steps. Consider your thoughts. Consider your life.
Hello lovely people!
I hope you’ve been joining me on Periscope for our 40 day Purpose Detox! It’s fire–I mean fiyah!
Being childlike is a prerequisite of following your dreams because children believe ANYTHING is possible. Their imaginations are absolutely amazing! Do you remember when you were a child how amazing your imagination was? Walt Disney said the saddest thing is that we all grow up.
Stop growing up lol…stop thinking you have to be this mature adult who has to have it all together before you can follow your dreams. Or that you have to logically and systematically plan out your every move before pursuing your purpose. Because you know what, what you’re actually planning is a way to make sure that you don’t fail but children aren’t afraid of failing. That’s the adult in you that has taught you that failure is an identity flaw when it actually is just a learning opportunity.
When a child believes they can fly and they tie their bed sheets around their neck and jump off the couch and fall they don’t think to give up they think of another way to jump! That’s what we have to do–we have to let failure open the possibility to another way to jump! I love that!!
Believe in the magic of your dreams. Believe that all things are possible. Children do–and you used to. Don’t lose that child that’s on the inside of you. Even Jesus said we can’t come hang out with Him in His Kingdom if we are stuffy old people–we have to be like little children.
Go ahead tie on that bed sheet and jump!
Hey there my powerful people!
It’s Day 10 of our Purpose Detox! Yes we made it! Lol We’re talking about people pleasing and needing approval to move into our purposes. A lot of us majored in college degrees to please our parents, to impress people and at the end of our college career realized we were no closer to feeling fulfilled. That’s people pleasing, that’s living up to people’s expectations. We gotta get free from that. But we’re so used to it, we learn when we are children we should do things for the applause of people. When we say our ABC’s and they clap for us, or we dance or sing and they clap—so we grow up performing for the applause of other people, whether they are parents, peers or lovers.
You do not need the applause from the stands to go and pursue your dream and fulfill your purpose in life. Because the truth is people will always applaud success no matter what kind of success it is. They will applaud you once you’ve made it–they may placate you now in the infant stages of you pursuing your dreams but when you succeed–and if you follow your purpose you will–they will clap for you. But if you’re waiting for them to clap now just forget it. Work hard first–find your purpose–pursue that and then let them applaud.
The only agreement you need is the one God gave you when He put you in your mother’s womb. He said YES to who you are before you even knew yourself. He’s been clapping and applauding you. He’s applauding you now as you read this because He sees your hunger and desire to be who He made you to be. I’m applauding that in you as well!
Go be fabulous, stop waiting for the squad to join you. Do it alone, once you win, you’ll see them running up.