Do this One Thing When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed


First of all thanks for supporting my blog by reading and commenting! I appreciate you.

So we all know that no one is exempt from feeling overwhelmed. Some of us are chronic sufferers of this and can’t seem to find our way out of it. I know for me I deal with this a lot because I tend to be a bit of a control freak. I want to make all the right decisions right now so that I make sure I only have good things happen in the future. I try to think of all the different ways my decisions can effect my life and I try to find the ONE perfect decision that will make my life problem free! Can you relate?

I know I’m not the only one. That is exactly why we get overwhelmed. We get too busy on the inside trying to avoid problems, pain, hurt, disappointment and whatever else we deem to be negative. We overthink everything, we overanalyze EVERYTHING! No wonder we get tired and start feeling overwhelmed.

The ONE thing we need to do when we get overwhelmed is to GO BACK TO THE BASICS. Matthew 6:33 says seek ye first the kingdom of God and all of these things will be added unto you. #1 God is basically saying “drop everything and look at Me”. Literally–He’s erasing your entire t0-do list and writing His name at the top! So how do we do that practically? You do all the things you were doing when you first met Him and fell in love. Read your Bible, sing to God, talk to Him in prayer–simplify! The amazing thing is that the reason you’re overwhelmed is because you’ve decided that you were God and started doing His job for Him by trying to run your own life. What Matthew 6:33 is saying to you is stop doing God’s job–let Him be God and stay in your lane!

That’s it. Love you.

In process,


Alone for the Holidays?

This time of year is either an extremely joyful time or it’s extremely depressing time for you. If you have great family relationships or friends you are probably super excited to hang out with them and take some days off just kicking back and enjoying life. If you are someone who has damaged relationships with friends and family, this time of year is extremely sad and lonely. I want to help you.

My heart and motivation for everything I do is to tell people about how amazing and beautiful they are, especially women and share the freedom that we have in our relationship with God. That’s what I want to share with you today.

Whether you know God personally or not this is still going to apply to you. No one on Earth was made to be alone, that’s number 1.

#1 So ITS OKAY to want to be around people who love and affirm your existence on this planet. This world can be really jacked up and hard to live in. We need people around us—whether they are blood related or not—who are in our corner.

#2 If you do not have people like this in your corner—it’s time to start being YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER! Treat yourself, pamper yourself, take yourself out—I know that sounds super weird but loving yourself is the foundation of all your other relationships. I used to do this—and I still do—love on myself by treating myself to a shopping spree at the dollar store. I was super broke in those days and I hated that I couldn’t buy nice things but I decided not to let that hold me back so I would save 20 dollars and just go crazy in the dollar store. It was so much fun!

I love to read too so I would go on dates with Jesus and take a book to my favorite park and even to dinner by myself. HAHAHA I know you’re probably thinking “oh my goodness that sounds like a nightmare!” But it really wasn’t. I’m so thankful for those days because if I didn’t have them I would not be the strong amazing woman that I am today. And yes I said that, and yes I believe that and no I don’t think it’s arrogant. It took time to build this confidence.

So during this holiday season don’t spend time focusing on how lonely you are or how sad you are—focus on enjoying your own company. Focus on being thankful that you made it another year and you’re not in the hospital, in an asylum somewhere, or on the streets.

#3 You’ve heard it a thousand times—go help someone else who may be lonely or sad. It is a powerful experience to step outside of your amazing little world and go share that cheer with another human soul. Somebody needs what you have, even if all you have is a smile.

You rock,



How to Follow Your Inner Voice

This entire month of November we are going to be talking about our intuition on the Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram, in the Facebook group and on this blog.

Intuition is our inner voice. Intuition is our first reaction. Intuition is that gut feeling you get immediately in different life situations. We all have it. We all have experience either ignoring that inner voice or following it and letting it lead us. We know that every time we have ignored that inner voice we have gotten ourselves in trouble. So why do we keep ignoring it?

I shared in the Facebook group, Real Women/Real Conversations, about a recent situation in my life where I completely ignored my inner voice and ended up costing myself a lot of unnecessary headache. Failing to follow my inner voice cost me emotional, mental, and spiritual energy I could’ve used somewhere else. It even cost me financially, but God is faithful to redeem us from situations we get ourselves in when we ignore Him.

So as a Christian, that inner voice is the Holy Spirit. It is actually God leading and guiding you. The Bible says “and when you turn to the right hand, and when you turn to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way. Walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 [tweetthis]God is actually with you every day in every moment trying to lead you to victory.[/tweetthis] He is actually talking to us and telling us which way to go to avoid trouble. So why don’t we follow Him?

#1 We don’t trust the voice we hear. We think it’s just us either being too positive or too negative. We think maybe it’s the voice of our parents or some other authority figure in our head. We think maybe it’s the pizza from the night before talking. We pretty much believe it’s everyone and everything else OTHER than God.

There’s only one way to fix that. You have to just trust the voice and do what it is telling you to do; take a leap of faith and just go with it. I wish there was a safer and easier way to get over not trusting the voice, but there isn’t. We just have to step out on faith and see what happens. And we all have at least one time we did that and we were really happy we did. So like Nike says, “Just DO it!”

The good news is the more we follow that inner voice the louder it becomes and the easier it is to follow. It takes practice and a lot of faith. But what’s the alternative. Do you want to keep putting yourself in bad situations and wasting your time and energy? I don’t think so. So let’s start trusting that inner voice. Let’s start winning in life already. Enough is enough.

You are loved,


2 Ways to Attract the Right Man in Your Life

First of all, I want to applaud you for your optimism for reading this post. Your heart is still hopeful even though I’m sure you’ve had some real heartbreaks. You are a strong woman and you STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE! Kudos to you my beautiful sister. I am right there with you.

So let’s get to it, how exactly do we attract the right man in our lives?

#1: You need to define exactly who the right man is. If that means writing a list—then do it. The list isn’t for God it’s for you. When you define that right man—his attributes, character, passions, and relationship with God—it makes it easier to weed out when the counterfeit comes. Which incidentally also means you will RECOGNIZE him when he arrives. In Habakkuk 2:3 God tells us to write the vision and make it PLAIN. So define it. I’ve written mine down but it was hard to articulate initially and I just had to record my conversation with God on my phone and then I could write it down.

#2: Become the person who compliments—NOT COMPLETE—the kind of man that list describes. We attract who we are. If you are broken you will attract brokenness. If you don’t love yourself, you will attract a person who doesn’t love themselves. So if you want a man who is confident and strong—YOU have to become confident and strong.

Do an inventory of your inner self right now; ask yourself the hard questions about how well you love you, how healthy is your relationship with God, how is your self-talk, how well do you value yourself, how good are you at leading yourself? If your answers scare you, do yourself a favor and stay out of any relationship until the answers are not scary anymore. You don’t want to be scary on the inside because you will attract scary on the outside. Do you really want a man who is insecure, riddled with low self-esteem, has a plutonic relationship with God, and can’t even lead himself? NOPE, you don’t.

SO beautiful, hopeful and optimistic queen—focus on loving yourself so much so that it will be EASY to eliminate anyone that comes along who doesn’t LOVE YOU the way YOU LOVE YOU.

P.S. you also don’t want anyone who loves you more than you love yourself. He will think he’s your savior and there’s only one Savior, Jesus. Because more often than not, it’s not that he loves you more it’s that he needs you to be something for him—so when he’s showering you with compliments it’s because he desperately needs your response to be feed something in him he’s not found in himself. And you will misinterpret that as love because you haven’t learned what real love is, because you haven’t taken the time to really love yourself.

Don’t ever forget that you are beautiful and you deserve a love that is tailor-made for you. You don’t need to look at anyone else’s love story and wish that were you. There’s a love story that’s been written in heaven for you; and if you trust God He will show you that He knows how to make your heart leap for joy.

Don’t settle,


Help! I Don’t Trust My Own Heart

That is the cry of a wounded woman trying to get healed. I know, because that was me.

A wounded woman who has been a victim of her own bad decisions eventually learns not to trust her own heart. So she will, in an effort to heal, shut her own heart down and rely on the decisions of those she believes loves her. She trusts their love for her greater than her love for herself. After all, they were not the ones that led her into broken relationships, destructive behaviors and life threatening situations.

That’s how I used to feel. I was terrified of following my heart after I had broken my own heart so many times. I second guessed everything I wanted or desired. My passions were pushed down because I could not trust where they were coming from. I didn’t believe I could have healing or wholeness if I let my heart lead the way.

I was wrong. If you are relating to the above, my beautiful queen, you are wrong. Let me tell you why.

Your heart is not the problem. The way you’ve interpreted how to make those desires a reality is the problem. For example, you may really desire freedom (just like I did and still do) but what society told you was freedom was to be unruly, drink alcohol, do drugs, and have sex with whoever you wanted. That’s what freedom looks like on billboards and in commercials. Your desire to be free isn’t wrong, the way you walk that out is what is wrong. So not trusting your heart’s pure desire for freedom is not how to fix it.

Here’s another desire we often manifest wrongly: the desire for intimacy, closeness, a real connection with a real person. You already know society tells you that intimacy = sex. SO…if I want to really connect with someone I must have sex with them and that will cure my desire for intimacy. Do you see where this is going? Our hearts desires are not wrong, or evil, or wicked. Deep down we all desire the same things and the World has 10,000 ways to meet each one of those desires. Depending on what we pick—we end up breaking and wounding our hearts.

What’s the answer? All of our desires are met in one Person, in one relationship. I found out that EVERYTHING I wanted and craved for, when I was breaking my own heart, was put in my heart by God. He put in every human a desire for Himself. We can’t fulfill or satisfy any of those desires outside of Him. [tweetthis][/tweetthis]He is what your heart has been craving for this whole time. Your relationships won’t be healthy outside of Him. You can’t truly love another person, including you baby girl, if your relationship with God is jacked up.

So what I’m saying is trust your heart—it’s leading you to the Father.

You’re loved,


Free Yourself from the Wrong Friendships

This whole month of September we’ve been talking about NOT SETTLING. Go check out my Facebook page at I have daily words of encouragement and inspiration to keep you motivated so that you don’t settle. I love the thought of people living the life they’ve always dreamed of. I love thinking about a brilliant beautiful person fulfilling their dreams and passions living the good life. Please let that be you. I’m definitely going to let it be me.J

Also, know that I’m writing from my own daily experiences with not settling. I am not preaching to you or talking AT you. I am speaking from my personal ongoing journey to living the life of my dreams. I am sharing the lessons I’m learning along the way. Most of those lessons I’m learning the hard way.

Recently, I’ve had to learn a lesson about settling when it comes to friendships. This was a hard one because it’s takes a very long time for me to let anyone close to me because I love very intensely, whether it’s a friend or a partner. I literally have never had more than 4 real friends around me at one time. Don’t get me wrong I have a lot of acquaintances, some of which may consider me their friends but there’s a difference between me being friendly and you being my friend.

The lesson I’ve learned when it comes to friendships is this: A close/best friend is a person with whom you should share a similar non-negotiable belief of the nature of God.

Here’s what I mean. If you have a friend who believes that God makes you sick to teach you a lesson and you believe God will never ever do that because He’s a good God; that friendship will break your heart eventually. I believe that God is a good God all the time, not because it’s some Christian cliché but because that truth brought me through the hardest season of my life.  I will never believe that God will put something/someone in my life that will be less than what I would’ve chosen for myself. I will never believe that God is sometimes good and sometimes bad—and I don’t believe this something complicated either. The scriptures say every GOOD AND PERFECT gift comes from Him. He is good ALWAYS.

We make choices and decisions in our life, as Christians, based upon who we believe God to be. If we think He’s got this weird hard-to-understand path for our lives that is really painful but in some weird way is bringing Him pleasure to see us suffer and that is somehow noble and virtuous—we will let satan sell us all kinds of nonsense and we will just take it. We will settle. We will not want to make it seem like we’re resisting God, I mean after all His thoughts and ways are higher than ours right? Who can really understand Him anyway? ENHH!! WRONG!!!

The people you hang out with the most—those close/best friends of yours—influence the outcome of your life in a major way. If you do not agree with how they see the world—if it is fundamentally different from how you see the world and understand God; and not just different but you disagree—let those friends go. [tweetthis display_mode=”button_link”]Free up your circle—you need people who vibe on the same frequency as you.[/tweetthis]Free up your circle—you need people who vibe on the same frequency as you. You need those who are in harmony with you. Life is too short to be trying to pull an unwilling person in a direction opposite of where they’re going. Trust God with that (after all, they may be thinking the same thing about you J)

Don’t settle for friendships just so you can say you have a friend. Vibing (pretty sure I made this word up lol) alone and moving in the right direction is way better than staying stuck because you’re trying to be a friend. Trust me, it’s not worth it. Let them go find their tribe—and go find yours.


You are loved deeply,


You Deserve More

Many people settle for less than they deserve simply because they believe they deserve less. I know that’s a bit of mind bender but read it again slowly. You have right now exactly the life you think you deserve. This includes all the headaches, heartaches, triumphs and victories that are in your life.

If you really believed you deserved more, you would’ve made different choices.

Your life right now is the sum total of all the decisions you have made in the past.

Here is one reason you think you deserve less:

You don’t really know who you are. You are deceived about your TRUE identity—the real you is still hidden. For example, if an eagle is raised by chickens it lives it’s life as a chicken and will never use it’s wings to leave the ground because it has taken on a false identity. That is true for you as well. This should tell you that you need to be careful who you have hanging around you because they are defining your limits—according to their own limits. A chicken has absolutely no knowledge/experience of flying like an eagle so it will, in innocent ignorance completely neglect the ability of flight in the eagle.

There may be people around you right now that cannot see the real you, not because they’re mean or wicked, but simply because they are ignorant of your amazing abilities because they have no experience in the area of your strengths. They can’t help you build what is not even on their radar.

We settle for less when we let other people limits become our own limits. Or we let other people’s failure become our own. Like, when a woman believes that she cannot have children because her best friend, sister, or coworker who is very close to her had problems conceiving—so she takes that on and wears their failures as her own.

Beautiful queen I urge you to take off the limitations, failures, and ignorance of those that are around you. You cannot move forward and receive everything that God has for you if you are weighed down by any of those things. You deserve more and you will only get more when YOU decide to.

You are loved,


Epic Formula to Celebrate Your Sexuality

Remember what our definition of sexuality was? So we’re not talking about celebrating it the wrong way by celebrating your sexual identity.

#1: Be thankful

The first step to appreciating anything in life is being thankful for it. It changes your entire mindset to begin seeing the thing you’re thankful for as an asset and not a liability. You begin to embrace it and feel honored to have it.

#2: Respect it3 Ways To Celebrate Your Sexuality

Put some respeck on it—lol—just kidding. But for real. You can’t really celebrate something if you don’t think it’s worthy of your respect. You have to honor and protect it. Celebration is about seeing the great value in something and being glad that the value either belongs to you or being honored to share the value with others. If you value something you will honor and protect it. Think about our soldiers and how they fight to protect our liberty—that is a form of celebration.

#3: Limit Access

Stop giving everyone access to your sexuality through your conversation, body language and actions. When you talk dirty or raunchy you are cheapening your sexuality. When you dress and carry yourself in a seductive way for people you are not in a covenant relationship with you are cheapening your sexuality. When you give your body away to people who have not been approved by God for you it is cheapening your sexuality.

Exclusivity is celebration. Use it.


Time for Change Queens,


The Lie of Sexual Identity

Exposing the Lie

Anything that separates your identity into parts is dangerous, because it implies that you are not a whole person.

Here’s what I mean. If you have a sexual identity, a workplace identity, a social identity, a friendship identity—it’s like you’re schizophrenic. There’s a million people living on the inside of you…

You only have ONE identity. When people think of you do want them to think oh that’s my black, bisexual, female friend? Or my Asian, straight, guy friend? You know the funny thing is that many of you probably do think of your friends that way. You separate and put them into boxes so that you can have a better context on how to relate to them. That’s how we’ve all been taught, so no wonder everyone is fighting to define all their different identities so that their friends and family put them in the right boxes. That’s a shame.


Time for Change Queens,